When the bill comes due and it’s up to you
To make good on all your debt,
And you lack the cash from your private stash
To make all the banks forget,
And if you should fear the financial sphere
Your resources to protect,
You can change the game if you change your name
And let all the bills collect.

When misfortunate has you trapped
And at risk of being zapped,
When you need to figure a way out,
It helps to be able to adapt.

When you’re up Shit Creek and you find the reek
Is a slice of the extreme,
And you are chased in a sea of waste
Like a horrifying dream,
If you run aground you will be surround-
ed with stench, so here’s your pose,
That you find your fate is to navigate
With a clothes pin on your nose,
With a clothes pin on your nose.

With a clothes pin on your nose,
It’s the end to all your woes,
Add the savor of a scented candle
And make the shit smell like a rose