22 Varieties

(Refrain) It’s a fine proliferation of the many ways to please,

The world of cucumber’s 22 varieties,

Long and short and thick and thin, these avatars of crunch

Are what the doctor ordered for dinner or for lunch,

22’s the magic number for this vegetable deluxe,

This variety of cukes. 

Amiga, a major league-a, 

Armenian is just around the bend, 

Chinese Soyu, 

Let’s give Diva its due, 

And English/European for the blend. 

Iznik. . .an unusual type, 

Katrina is always worth the hype, 

Kirby’s got its little bumps,

Korean never slumps,

And Kyuri is exceptional when ripe. 

(Refrain) It’s a fine proliferation of the many ways to please,

The world of cucumber’s 22 varieties,

Long and short and thick and thin, these avatars of crunch

Are what the doctor ordered for dinner or for lunch,

22’s the magic number for this vegetable deluxe,

This variety of cukes. 

Lemon. . .slightly lemony,

And Persian – of course! – hegemony, 

When you’re looking for a thrill

Poniente fills the bill,

With Salt and Pepper they’re a Gemini [geh-mun-ee]

Gemini? 

Whatever. . .

There’s Socrates, cucumber so wise,

And Tyria always applies,

Unistar is ably workin’,

And when it comes to gherkin,

Watermelon and West Indian do rise. 

(Refrain) It’s a fine proliferation of the many ways to please,

The world of cucumber’s 22 varieties,

Long and short and thick and thin, these avatars of crunch

Are what the doctor ordered for dinner or for lunch,

22’s the magic number for this vegetable deluxe,

This variety of cukes.